So as my awkward conversation with Chodey yesterday (which you can read about here) came to a much-needed close, she offered to buy and replace all of the food she had taken without permission within the next few days. I told her that all I wanted were two things and she acted as if she could manage that.
I honestly did not believe her. However, despite my lack of faith, she marched in the door this evening, and in her chubby little Chode hands were grocery sacks filled with food. Granted, it wasn't the food I asked her to replace, but she still bought food and told me I could eat it. I only asked her to buy some Sadie's salsa (the absolute best salsa on this planet) and some shells and cheese: neither of which she bought. Is that too much to ask for, Choders? Is it?
But I'm going to stop bitching, because I should be happy she even offered me any food in the first place.
In the words of The Lonely Island, "Doesn't really make sense, but man, screw it. I ain't one to argue with a good thing." After Chode-Uh-Lay-He-Who offered me the food and we exchanged some severely awkward small talk, she noticed my nose was pierced (even though I saw her last night after the deed was done and also this morning) and told me it looks nice. What's getting into her? Maybe she's turning over a new leaf, or maybe she's on drugs. After Chodeffeur left the room, I immediately rummaged through the salsa-less grocery sacks and ate some of her macaroni and cheese. Success! I mean, mac and cheese can't and won't ever compare to the glorious shells and cheese, but it will (and must) suffice.
More on the nose ring:
even though it hasn't even been a whole twenty-four hours, I can feel it's healing pretty nicely. It is a little red, but not bad at all. It's not even swollen anymore.
I'm continuously cleaning it, though, for I fear - due to the unprofessionalism of the tour-de-force - it will become infected much more easily than that of one who got their nose pierced by someone who might've had a clue what they were doing.
It still looks mad rad, though!
Sorry again, mom.
Side note: Chode's laughing like a hyena as I type. Her cool meter just went down 197,000 points, making her somewhere in the negative billions. More on that later.