Thursday, October 6, 2011

10 things you hate about me.

Evidently, I've been severely commentating (okay, I've been bitching) about my roommate, Chodey, in some, if not most, of my blogs. It's definitely an effective way to get my feelings out though; instead of bashing her on the head with an over-sized tape-dispenser, I'm just bashing her on the interweb. 
In order to make me feel more humble, I've procured a list of things that other people must hate about me. Here we go: 
1. The trepidation I feel when I see/touch corduroy and other unreasonable fears.
I realize corduroy is probably the most irrational fear anyone's ever had, but I hate is so much. I've told many people before it makes my teeth itch. Whenever I see corduroy - especially pants for some reason - I automatically run the opposite direction.
I'm also afraid of ovens, fireworks, the pop sound of a biscuit can being opened, thunder and countless others.
There's nothing in there.
2. The way I dress.
Before I start talking about my (very sad, almost non-existent) wardrobe, let me discuss a very important issue that comes up every time I go shopping: my height. I'm 5'9" but sometimes I feel much taller than that. According to a quick Wikipedia search, the average woman's height in America is 5'4"; white American women being just an inch taller. So that means I'm a whole four inches taller than the average white woman in America. Clothes are not fabricated to properly fits someone of my stature, so I'm pretty much forced to buy either shirts that are a little too loose on me or dresses that are a little too short for me. My bad.
3. My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder habits.
Many have probably at one time witnessed my mild case of OCD. I always have to walk to the beat of music that's playing. Whenever I'm eating, I have to chew equal amounts of food, and sometimes when applicable, the same color, on both sides of my mouth. This one's a little difficult to explain, but I have to walk on the same texture of flooring with both feet for the same amount of steps. I just like feeling balanced.
4. I skip steps when I walk up stairs/down stairs.
I have, as mentioned before in number two, long limbs. Therefore, I feel I have the right to act like a giant and skip steps when I walk up and down stairs. Also, it helps me get to where I need to go in a shorter amount of time, and I enjoy being early everywhere all of the time. So if I'm ever racing past you to get up some stairs, it's just because I'm a giant, not because you're going too slow.
5. My competitiveness.
I like being awesome; pretty self-explanatory.
6. I mess w/ my nails when my hands have nothing to do.
I don't know if it's a nervous habit, but whatever it is, my nails are constantly ugly. I tug at my cuticles, bite my nails and clean the dirt from under my nails constantly. The worst part about it is I don't even realize I'm doing it until late in the nail cleaning/biting session, so then I just have to finish.
7. My offensive language.
I'm aware there are definite places and times when my brackish choice of words are unacceptable. But there are also times when I advocate such language. When not used all the time, profane words can release tension and anger, sort of like a therapist or a masseuse would, except you don't have to pay a $25 co-pay. Free therapy!
Those are just the bottled frapps!
8. I'm addicted to Starbucks.
I don't know what it is about expensive coffee, but it's delectable. I probably spend more on coffee a year than I do my clothes, which explains the very sad, almost non-existent wardrobe of mine mentioned in numero dos. I'm really (un)lucky to have a Starbucks a few measly one hundred or so steps from my dorm room. Anybody willing to donate to the Elizabeth Needs Coffee foundation?
9. I hate awkward situations.
As you might have read here, I try to avoid awkward situations as much as possible. Some people would argue with me and say awkward situations make life entertaining. No. They make life shitty. I don't even like arguing. For as competitive as I am, if an argument gets too deep, I give up just because I would like to avoid the awkwardness.
10. I'm extremely cheap.
Putting my expensive coffee addiction aside, I hate spending money. I only buy clothes that are on sale, and that's only if I feel like I really need whatever it is I'm considering buying. As you also may have noticed from this post, I have pierced my ears and my nose without going to a professional. Whatever, I'm aware of the dangers of infection and everything, but I am definitely not willing to spend that much money for something I could do myself.

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